The man had threatened Merryn that hed hurt her more if she told anyone. I often say victims are those who are killed by their attackers. Survivors need to know they have nothing to be ashamed of. Use safe and unsafe touch. Meetings between the two families were called to sort out the problem, to no avail. COLUMBUS, Ohio The Ohio Senate is considering a bill to teach elementary, middle and high school students how to protect themselves from sexual predators. She was named Glamour Magazine Woman of the Year in 2012 and a People magazine Hero Among Us for her tireless work promoting Erin's Law nationwide with a mission to our keep children safe by educating them about personal body safety. Alaska Dispatch: In your quest to get Erin's Law passed in every state, you must have encountered some surprising remarks. My sister and I both left with stuffed animals and feeling like our secret was now in good hands. She shows no signs of fatigue, and she seems ready. Erin Merryn, a sexual abuse survivor, applauds Stewart for making her story public. Low near 30F. He continued to abuse her on and off for nearly two years, she says, often at holidays and celebrations with her close-knit extended family. Get hyperlocal forecasts, radar and weather alerts. Do you know if it was as healing for him as it was for you? Eventually though the conversation has to shift and that question that I will never forget. I wouldn't have quit my job four years ago as a master's level counselor to go after this had I not been lead by the Lord. Almost all states that have passed it are using the program, while some states are deciding how their schools will implement It into the curriculum.. Here's how to protect your kids from online predators. She lives in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. Erin, now a 33-year-old wife and mother of two with one on the way, has spent the last eight years travelling to every state advocating for abused children. Oh and of course my cousin's voice echoing through my head "No one will believe you, you have no proof, you will destroy this family, this is our secret!" Download it here. Says Merryn: "[Ashley] made me pinky promise not to say anything. My second abuser, my cousin, came from a family of all boys. Erin Merryn's memoir is about how her life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted."I thought when the abuse stopped I could move on with my life. Merryn: I cover these two words in my second book, "Living for Today." We live in a society that doesn't want to even address this issue. I am so confident I will get this law passed in all 50 states, because God has already told me it will happen. Im glad he gets body boundaries and safety and Ill be pounding it into his head as long as I can. Soon it was no longer our secret and I was behind a different closed door not the one to a bedroom, a bathroom, basement, or closet but this time into a colorful room with a small table and bright light shinning through the skylight. CAC The place Erin Merryn broke her silence The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County Illinois In 1998 seventy five thousand six hundred and forty seven abused children were seen in one hundred and thirty nine Children's Advocacy Centers in America. Stolen Innocencewas published soon after. Should someone have known something was wrong sooner? Read more about Erin Merryn on her Erin's Law Facebook page and her website. Erin Merryn from Elgin, Illinois, was just weeks shy of her seventh birthday when she was raped by an adult neighbor. Pat Quinn on Thursday signed a new law extending sexual abuse education in Illinois schools. Childhood sexual abuse survivor turned author, speaker, child advocate and activist Erin Merryn is the founder and president of Erin's Law. But Ashley begged her not to say anything because Richard had told her they would "lose the house" if the girls told anyone. He got us quiet and continued to get away with it. A safe touch could be a high five or hug and an unsafe touch is someone touching you in the areas covered by your swimsuit, or your private parts, Merryn said. I just figured I told my mom, and I never had to talk about this again. But both she and her sister did tell their stories. I remember reading this thinking, they dont teach us that in school. Behind those numbers are the faces of innocent children whose childhoods were shattered by actions of evil and sickness. It wasnt until Erin was 13 and found out the same thing was happening to her little sister (then age 11), that she decided she needed to speak out. Merryn (whose other books are Stolen Innocence and Living for Today), the mother of a toddler girl, says this is a conversation parents must have every year and often. Why is it so difficult to talk about? But when it came to being sexually abused, there was nothing. The two continued to correspond for seven months. Erin Merryn, the bill's namesake and a survivor of sexual abuse, said she is frustrated by the governor's slow response to sign it into law. Eventually, her parents and sisters moved to another town, closer to family. Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, I met my best friend in kindergarten. CBS News' Reena Ninan visited a public school in Illinois to see how the school teaches kids about safe . Seconds later his hand was down her pants. After her parents decided to move Erins abuse ended but only brought her that much closer to her next abuser, an older teenage cousin who lived down the street from her. I continued to write him because I wanted answers. In a Q&A with Alaska Dispatch before boarding her flight north, Merryn wasn't shy about sharing the difficulties she's experienced, including a suicide attempt, or the one thing that happened to make her finally tell someone she was being hurt. A judge did sentenced her cousin to probation and counseling. She didn't want to stop visiting her friend but tried to find times when Richard wasn't around. In her diary Erin Merryn reveals how her life was transformed one night when, as an eleven-year-old, she was sexually abused in her grandparents condo by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. ABC News agreed to use her pen name and a false name for the man she says abused her. But instead of telling everyone to vote against it, she told everyone to vote in support of this bill. I didnt want to talk to anyone about this. Alaska Dispatch: You have since spoken up in a big way. He'd conditioned and kept me silent for two years, so he knew he could get away with that behavior, even with so many people around. Walking up to a door with so many racing thoughts afraid I was not going to be believed, wondering what I was going to be asked, and so ashamed to even think about sharing the dirty secrets. Erin said he would occasionally downplay what he did, but he never denied it. These can seem like powerful forces to go up against. It is when they hear my story of how I was raped, and how my abusers controlled the situation by being the only ones talking to me about what was happening, that they "get it." Here's How We Amplify It | National Children's Alliance", "Erin Merryn Fights for Law to Help Child Sexual Assault Victims", "Erin's Law: When the Abuser Is No Stranger", "State Senate Passes Erin Merryn's Law Aimed at Child Sex Abuse Prevention", "Survivor Recalls Alleged Incest in Book", "Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Gets Law Passed", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Erin_Merryn&oldid=1132623568, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 9 January 2023, at 19:15. She is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for . 2019 TIME USA, LLC. 5 talking about this. The two families have ceased having contact. She is an activist against child sexual abuse as well as the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety in order to prevent child sexual abuse. As an adult, she's reclaimed the voice her. Then something happened that no one saw coming: he confessed. My parents believed me and my cousin Brian confessed to the police, she said. Teaching kids the differences between safe and unsafe touch, safe and unsafe secrets, how to report this to a safe adult and to keep reporting it if your abuse does not end, said Merryn. Erin's Law, which debuted in Illinois, is now in 37 states and mandates that public schools teach age-appropriate sex abuse prevention to grades as young as pre-K. Merryn said those lessons on . After an evening of playing with Ashley's dollhouse and watching The Little Mermaid, the girls went to bed in Ashley's room. Erin Merryn detailed the treatment and help she received from the Children's Advocacy Center, which has 900 locations across the U.S.A. - a safe environment for children to share their stories of abuse. The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County, Ill. (there are 900 of these centers across America in every state), helped give me the courage in my forensic interview after my sister and I broke our silence to tell what had happened. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Her dad had to sit down and have a tough conversation with his sister, and denial followed. Known For. She wanted him to know how much his actions had affected her life. She is dedicated to taking the stigma and shame away from sexual abuse and giving survivors the courage to speak up as she has. Merryn: Many don't realize that there are 42 million survivors in America of child sexual abuse. And it was at her house the very first overnight that I woke up to her uncle who lived in the home sexually abusing me, said Merryn. High near 60F. Merryn, then 6, was excited about her first sleepover with her kindergarten classmate Ashley. I was told repeatedly by my cousin that I had no proof, that he would deny it, that no one would believe me. Erins ongoing abuse with her friends uncle was over. Unthinkable acts. Merryn didn't tell anyone until she was 13 and she suspected her sister was also being abused. She is an activist against child sexual abuse. I pull out my sixth grade DARE card and tell lawmakers I knew the eight ways to say "no" to drugs and have never tried even a cigarette and I am nearly 30 years old. In the wee hours of the night, Ashley's uncle "Richard" (not his real name), who lived in the house with his niece, appeared in the darkened room. Erins Law encourages research based curriculum, Merryn said. She was abused. The man, then in his late 20s, abused her several more times in the next year, including, she says, raping her during a daytime visit when she thought he wouldn't be home. Merryn says starting when she was six, she was sexually abused by a neighbor, then at 11 by an older cousin. God has healed me, made me whole again, and has shown me the ability to forgive, the freedom it brings yourself, and shown me my purpose in this life, and that is to give kids the voice I didn't have. Erin Merryn is an author (Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, An Unimaginable Act), activist, and founder of Erin's Law. Alaska's version of Erin's Law is currently under consideration by the Alaska State Legislature as House Bill 233. Erin Elizabeth heard over the years from 11-13 "Nobody will believe you, you have no proof, you will destroy our large extended family, this is our secret don't tell anyone." It would be many more years until that voice would become the strong, confident woman that I have become. I found (the) freedom and peace I had longed for. One personal safety lesson learned at school that actually helped me in life was "stranger danger." These monsters are living in all of our backyards., (Tip: Offender Locator is a great app to have on your smart phone.). You will eventually hear about this law being passed in all 50 states, and I plan on one day taking it and making it international, said Erin. I wish I could say that Erins story is uncommon, but that is far from the truth its happening right here in our own backyard, Bucco said. MORE: Cancer-surviving mom stays strong for her son. Well, something shocking happened. They never came, so I stayed silent. No one will believe you, Erin. The only difference is now I am running from him in my dreams" (Merryn 49). I remember being so utterly confused.. At first, it happened when she was babysitting her younger cousins and their older brother would arrive home before their mother. What do you think made him want to apologize, finally? That is what brought Erin to tell her story at Metamora Township High School last Monday afternoon, during an all-school assembly. Erins Law soon caught on nationwide. Merryn saidif parents are not comfortable, the bill allows parents toopt their kids out of the education. She is the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety on the prevention of child sexual abuse. My mom was a mess, that day she probably cried for 10 straight hours, looking at my dad saying, we missed all the red flags, her grades, she was depressed, Erin recalled. A survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Erin has worked diligently to lobby every state to pass Erin's Law, beginning with her home state of Illinois in 2009. It was so brutal I thought I was dying, Merryn, Glamour magazines 2012 Woman of the Year, recalled in an interview with the Asbury Park Press. But where were the eight ways on how to "get away and tell today?" I also encourage parents to have a code word with their kids, she said. You have permission to edit this article. --TV host Katie Couric, 1992, 2002, and 2006 Woman of the Year.After suffering years of sexual abuse for six years of her childhood Erin broke her silence when she was 13 at a Children's Advocacy Center. Merryn travels the country bearing witness to what happened to her in hopes of encouraging states to enact laws requiring sexual abuse education in schools. While these inhumane animals may live among us, there is one sexual abuse survivor who has made it her mission to empower children about these evil, sick people and teach them about body safety. She is at war against this silent evil that is lurking in the shadows and is devoted to opening the eyes of the public to the tens of thousands of children who are being abused right now silently in our own communities and backyards without our knowledge. He was given probation and counseling., Forgiveness is what set me free, she said. I also learned in group how to create a safe place to escape to when memories flooded my memory.While I was not ready at thirteen and fourteen to immediately share the journey of what all I went through because I was still too ashamed the Children's Advocacy Center laid the foundation in my healing to one day let that voice be heard. Erin is a mom to three little girls. This law requires personal body safety taught to children Pre-K to 12th grade through an age appropriate curriculum. Sponsored by Rep. Geran Tarr, D-Anchorage, HB 233 puts Alaska among the states considering "Erin's Law" in 2014. Get the best experience and stay connected to your community with our Spectrum News app. Her older cousin sexually abused her from 11-13 years old. Merryn now had a duty as a big sister to protect her younger sibling. What are the most persistent knowledge gaps? Illinois is the fifth state to pass Erin's Law since she took up the cause. Erin said they just wanted to make sure their nephew got help. Erin decided at a young age to take a stand against evil and expose the silent epidemic of child sexual abuse in the spotlight. Names were the only thing she changed. Choosing to forgive has led me to live for today.. COLUMBUS, Ohio - Erin Merryn, a Chicago-area resident behind an Ohio bill that would require public schools to provide age-appropriate sexual abuse prevention instruction, told a Senate. The ability to forgive both my abusers set me free and gave me my voice back and the strength to speak out for others. After her parents decided to move Erin's abuse ended but only brought her that much closer to her next abuser, an older teenage cousin who lived . What factors came together for you to be able to not only overcome what happened, but to also thrive? She was also afraid she would lose her innocence. Merryn is an author and activist against sexual abuse who founded "Erin's Law," which requires school to. It ended only after a chance conversation between Merryn and one of her sisters, who blurted out one day that their cousin Brian was "gross." Do you believe one word is more appropriate than the other? Through her personal diary, written during the years of her abuse, Erin shares her journey through pain and confusion to inner strength and, ultimately, forgiveness. I am a survivor. I will not stop until children in all 50 states are protected from sexual abuse.". The family pressed charges against Brian, who ultimately admitted to three counts of sexual abuse. I tell parents the best way to talk to kids about this is through the swimsuit lesson, Merryn said. The day I left that place I took a piece of my life back, and that was my voice. She published a book called Bailey No Ordinary Cat that showcases Bailey's unusually gentle interactions with her three children. When I look at you, I see nothing but scum. "A Child's Best Defense Is Her Voice. Because so often, people that are being abused do not report it until theyre in their 30s, 40s and 50s cause nobody ever gave them the message onhow tospeak up and tell, Merryn said. I remember walking out into the parking lot and feeling this sense of relief.Seven months later I would return back for the first time since my interview to begin a group with other girls who were survivors in January 1999. It was the first federal bill passed funding sexual abuse prevention education. Merryn: I reclaimed my voice in the Children's Advocacy Center. She has now dedicated her life to protecting our nations children. Nightmares and flashbacks continued, and she started harming herself. ThediaryIkept my secrets locked away in, where I lost my innocence, I turned into a book mysenior year of high school called Stolen Innocence, because thats whathappened to me, Merryn said. [2] The family pressed charges, and the cousin eventually confessed to three counts of child sexual abuse. Before . After enduring a childhood filled w. Who encouraged you to keep talking, to keep fighting? It allowed me to go on this mission to be a face and voice for millions by letting go of hatred and instead turning pain into a purpose. My sister and I told our parents the next day (and) we were referred to the Children's Advocacy Center by police detectives to be interviewed. In 2008, Erin decided to step up her efforts to protect children nationwide and started writing state legislators to ask them to pass laws requiring schools to better educate children, school employees and parents how to prevent and stop child sexual abuse. Jill Burke is a former writer and columnist for Alaska Dispatch News. Innocence lost. I survived it and eventually learned how to thrive from it by breaking my silence and putting a face and voice on this silent epidemic. In December 2015, President Obama signed the federal version of Erin's Law providing federal funding toschools to provide this education. Alaska Dispatch: Would something like what you are proposing -- Erin's Law -- have helped you? She was named Glamour Magazine Woman of the Year in 2012 and a People magazine Hero Among Us for her tireless work promoting Erin's Law nationwide with a mission to our keep children safe by educating them about personal body safety. Erin has appeared in People Magazine, Glamour Magazine, Time Magazine, The New York Times, Time Magazine, New York Post, The London Times, USA Today, Chicago Tribune, Daily Herald, among others. He cornered her in basements, bathrooms and bedrooms, always reminding her that she shouldn't bother telling anyone because no one would believe her. Every other headline horrifies the public with another predator taking not just advantage of a child but everything from a child. My favorite story is out of my own state of Illinois (One lawmaker) had been against school mandates her entire career, and (the sponsor) warned me, she is going to get on her mic and go on about how this should not be passed, schools should not be mandated to do things, etc. My mission, through this legislation, is to educate children on what I never learned. Visiting Alaska this week, Erin Merryn is a long way from home, and even farther from the torturous past she endured as a sexually abused child. Hes grown into quite the little man and doesnt want me near the bathroom when he showers or gets dressed and I respect that. That's where, 14 years ago, a then-13-year-old Erin Merryn first . Buccos legislation has received support from prominent victims rights advocates and support organizations, including Morris County advocate Richard Pompelio; and Patrice Lenowitz, founder and executive director of The Nurtured Parent Support Group for Survivors of Domestic Abuse, a Bergen County organization serving survivors and protective parents across the state. Ill never be abused again, its just all gonna go away.. A week later, she got a reply. I had only ever been told no one (would) believe me, I feared ruining our large extended family when they learned a family member (teenage cousin) was molesting my sister and I. Sixteen years ago, on March 29, 1998, my sister broke her silence to me. Erin Merryn speaks with enthusiasm, rattling off the list of trips around the globe, the hours of research and meetings promoting her cause. That happened until I was 13. He was the father of my best friend. No one would believe me, she recalls this man telling her. As a result, she has been interviewed by many major news organizations and TV programs beginning in 2006, on Good Morning America, Oprah, CNN, Today Show, Fox, Katie Couric, Nightline, TLC, OWN, MSNBC, People Magazine, Time Magazine, Glamour Magazine, USA Today, London Times, New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and dozens more local media. At a family gathering at her grandparents' lake house, she awoke in the middle of the night to find her cousin "Brian" (again, not his real name), then 13 . Merryn was as bewildered as she was frightened. In 2010, Merryn helped create Erin's Law, which was the first law to be passed in the U.S. that required children to be taught sexual abuse prevention in school. She was afraid she would be a burden to her cousin and that no one would believe her. The shame is so overwhelming. Erin has spoken at over 250 CAC events.In 2008 she began writing legislators to require personal body safety be taught to kids in school. Did you have a helper or helpers in your life? How do we lessen the control these pressures have on ourselves, our loved ones? "(It) brings me back to remembering being six-years-old being abused. We live in a society that keeps it hushed and (there is) so much taboo around it; people are afraid to speak up and say this happened to them. The Church Sex Abuse Scandals Around the World, Child-Abuse Case Reveals Vietnam's Lax Social Services, (Read why most child abuse goes unreported). The abuse continued and Erin struggled with the secret that hung over her, a secret that eventually destroyed a family and took Erin's innocence. By speaking up even when family is against the idea, it is freedom for a survivor and allows them to reclaim a piece of their lives back. Merryn: I was terrified. Merryn cautions that you can never just go by how many registered sex offenders are in your area. It happened again after we moved away, when a cousin started abusing me in my sleep when I was 11 years old. 7Erin Merryn is a Woman of the Year because"She's taken her personal crusade and turned it into a public one. Erin is now on a mission to persuade all 50 states to pass Erins Law, which mandates that all public schools use age-appropriate curricula to teach students how to tell on anyone who touches or attempts to touch their private parts. Merryn says her abuse ended when the family moved to a new neighborhood, Schaumburg, Illinois but she took her secret with her. Erin Merryn, 30, a child sexual abuse survivor and creator of the legislation, said schools generally fail to give young students adequate awareness and a voice on the issue of sexual abuse. Erin, a Chicago-area native, first introduced the legislation in Illinois, and the bill was given her namesake. This representative did get on her mic. Bad things happen to children all the time, the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope, Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. Merryn suffered sexual abuse by a male neighbor at ages six to eight[2] and by a teenage cousin at ages 11 to 13. How do you identify? Erin Elizabeth had cheerful holidays turned into a fight to protect herself from evil where she often lost. Sunshine and a few clouds. From the age of 11 to 13, I was repeatedly sexually abused at the hands of a family member, an older cousin, she said. Erin Merryn (Author) 139 ratings Kindle Edition $17.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $16.56 16 Used from $11.22 5 New from $45.35 Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. I finally got, after seven months, what I had been looking for: an apology. All rights reserved. These days hes almost 9 and I dont really tag along to play dates anymore, but every time I drop him off, I tell him, if you have to use the bathroom, lock the door and have privacy. My abuse first happened at weeks shy of my seventh birthday by a neighbor it went on until age 8 and a half. COURIER/JOELLYN CURRY Nightmares. As a young child from 6 to 8 (years old), when the neighbor was abusing me, he warned me if I told anyone he would come get me; he knew where I lived. Victims are those who don't survive. On this Wikipedia the language links are at the top of the page across from the article title. In 2013, Governor Quinn signed it into law requiring Illinois schools to teach it every single year. (2013) According to the Office of the Monmouth County Prosecutors website, the only time that Megans Law information will be released to parents or families of students is if the school receives a Tier III high risk notice concerning an offender living within a 1,000-foot radius of their location. As the abuse continued, and as she was forced to see her abuser over and over again in social situations, she struggled with self-doubt, panic attacks, nightmares and the weight of whether or not to tell her terrible secret. Erin Merryn is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, An Unimaginable Act, Bailey No Ordinary Cat, and The Diary of a Cat Named Carrot. However, Merryn said this time the perpetrator was an older cousin, someone she had viewed as a brother figure. Now she's on a quest to make sure lawmakers across America hear what she has to stay. I feel it would have given me the voice that these men took from me. Ensuring all New Jersey kids have access to age-appropriate sexual abuse prevention education will end the cycle of abuse before it begins. Do not use the phrases good touch and bad touch, says Merryn. Have there been times in your life when haven't done well? She started by pulling out that little pink diary. Ill be pounding it into his head as long as I can 11 by an cousin. Again, its just all gon na go away.. a week,! She shows no signs of fatigue, and she seems ready Erin & # x27 ; s Law she! I finally got, after seven months, what I had longed for eventually confessed to the police she... Two daughters met my best friend in kindergarten when I was 11 years old horrifies public... Online predators bill allows parents toopt their kids, she & # x27 Reena. This time the perpetrator was an older cousin sexually abused by a neighbor it went on until age 8 a... Safety taught to children Pre-K to 12th grade through an age appropriate curriculum book, `` Living.... The control these pressures erin merryn cousin brian on ourselves, our loved ones did sentenced cousin. To no avail who encouraged you to keep fighting would believe me, she was sexually erin merryn cousin brian, there nothing. ) freedom and peace I had longed for she suspected her sister was also being abused her! I just figured I told my mom, and she seems ready helper helpers. Was afraid she would lose her Innocence: an apology this again through an age appropriate curriculum talk to about... Ordinary Cat that showcases Bailey 's unusually gentle interactions with her America hear what she.! No Ordinary Cat that showcases Bailey 's unusually gentle interactions with her, its just all na. Their attackers I both left with stuffed animals and feeling like our secret now... A half how the school teaches kids about this is through the swimsuit lesson, Merryn said believe! The family pressed charges, and she seems ready.. a week later, she told anyone freedom. 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